I have decided that a God has given me the strength to just deal. A less strong person might have collapsed from the weight of everything by now. I’m not saying I won’t someday…but not yet.
Stopped to see my dad. He was actually in his power chair. I hadn’t witnessed that since he got to rehab. But then he told me he’d only been in it for three hours. He was asking to be put back in bed. Sigh
And, I had to feed him. He has to be able to feed himself. My sister sent me a text to say he announced to her friend who visited today that he was going home Friday. Big sigh
There is no way he is ready to go home. He can’t stay out of bed and in a chair for more than three or four hours, can’t (won’t) feed himself and hasn’t even been dressed for ten days. It would have to be a miraculous turnaround for him to go home this week. I’m just hoping he can go home in another 2-3 weeks. And I seem to be the one to tell him all of this. Really big sigh.
Then there is Warren. Our quick trip to the hospital for another 20 minutes of IV antibiotics took 2 1/2 hours again. Small town, small hospital. Where do all these sick/injured people come from???? At least his hand is better. But he still has ten days of oral antibiotics and a follow up visit to his regular doctor in two days. Of course, he is saying he doesn’t think he needs to take the meds. Why am I always the bad guy?
But the good news is, I am woman, hear me roar! I can do this. Just as soon as they get this tooth pulled tomorrow. That’s where I will fall apart.
So it was only three hours in ER tonight. He still is not happy with me. But he has a nasty infection. They gave him IV antibiotics tonight, took an X-ray to be sure there wasn’t a piece of the thorn still in his hand and sent us home. I have to take him back tomorrow night for another round of IV drugs. Then oral meds.
Thankful it wasn’t worse and that we didn’t wait any longer. And I’m sure he will get over being mad. He said “no needles” when we were walking in. But he never complained about the IV.
I just want tomorrow to be an uneventful day. I’m supposed to read to two kindergarten classes tomorrow. We are going to read Dragons Love Tacos and I’m looking forward to that. Except it is really foggy now and if there is a school delay, I won’t be reading. So I hope the fog clears up before morning.
I’m sitting in the ER yet again tonight. This time with Warren. He has been fighting me on coming since yesterday.
He had a run in with a large thorn from a thorn tree. You know, the kind with poison. He even had on gloves. It still punctured his hand. Now he can’t use that hand. And it is extremely swollen. Tonight I said enough and kidnapped him and brought him here.
No forethought so I didn’t think to grab my Kindle. And you know how boring it can be to sit and wait.
But wait! I remembered my Kindle app on my phone. Not a big screen but I can at least continue reading my book.
I’m thankful for the multiple platforms and that they sync up automatically.
I sure hope October is a better month though.
Wise words. A tiny bit of kindness goes a long long way. And it doesn’t cost you anything. Try it. You will be a better person for it.
Today I am most thankful for the compassion God has given me. I’m far from a weepy eyed, puppy loving (well I do love most puppies), feeling sorry for everyone kind of person. But I truly do feel compassion for many people.
This has been brought home visiting my dad in the nursing home. I’ve been there every day he has been there or in the hospital. I joked with the nurse that there was a reason I didn’t go into health care (as she was helping with his bedpan). Seriously though I couldn’t do that. He has thrown up and I’ve been there to hold a basin. He has passed gas (loudly and less than fragrantly) and I haven’t run away. But I couldn’t do that with anyone else.
I’ve been watching some of these elderly people and talk to them whenever I see them. I genuinely feel sorry for them. There are few visitors ever. No one deserves that. I think most people hear about someone in the nursing home and it makes them uncomfortable so they don’t visit. I will never do that again. Sometimes just sitting is all they need.
Funny story though. There is one old lady who can barely get around in her wheelchair. Yesterday she asked Warren where he was going from there. Today she looked very confused. I asked her if I could help her. She said she was turned around and wanted to know if that hallway was the way to get upstairs. I told her there wasn’t an upstairs (it is a one story home). I offered to help her get where she needed to go. But she didn’t know where that was. A nurse came along about that time, called her by name and pushed her down the hall to her room.
I hope God continues to grant me the capacity to show compassion to these people. There was a time a few years ago I would have just ignored them.
I’m tired. I’m weary to my bones. I wanted to just sit at home tonight. But I went to see my dad since my sister sent me a text and said he wasn’t doing very well tonight. I was there at 12:30 today and he seemed okay. But she went on to say he was depressed. And that she had a crappy day at work and didn’t want to deal with this. What? My day was not bad…just stressful. I have a sensitive situation I’m dealing with and it is creating unnecessary stress in my world. But I do what I need to do. And tonight I needed to go sit with my dad.
I stayed a couple of hours. He seemed in pretty good spirits. He was watching American Pickers. I think it is a stupid show, but he likes it. He laughed a few times. And he talked about my nieces coming tonight, especially the one who just started college this fall. It seems that my sister’s crappy day colored her impression of him.
I didn’t want to go back tonight. But I’m glad I did. I know that someday I will wish I was watching a stupid tv show with my dad again. I need to just treasure all this time with him.
But now I’m tired and need to find some quiet time for myself. I tried reading, but it is putting me to sleep. That must be a sign.
Today was wild. I had my board meeting this morning early. It was followed immediately by another meeting. I was feeling energized. Almost like my old self (I.e., before dad got sick). It was a productive, yet hectic day. And yet I took time to have lunch with a friend. It was really good to catch up with her. We usually have lunch once a week and it has been about three weeks since I’ve seen her so it was really good today. Then I was dropping stuff off to one of my volunteers and he wasn’t in, but another great friend I haven’t been able to see was there so we got caught up a bit. It was a long day…about 12 hours, but it flew by.
Then off to see dad. That didn’t start out so good though. He said he didn’t sleep again. Therapy went good, but he gets so worn out that then he goes back to bed. He has to start staying out of bed. And I told him that. In fact, I turned into my mother tonight. I told him the things that I know she would be telling him if she was still here. And he still loves me.
But then today I did a couple of things (both of which are things my mother would have done) that are against the rules. Number one was that since dad isn’t sleeping (he won’t take anything anymore to help – Ambien made him hallucinate, Tylenol PM didn’t help at all and the muscle relaxer made him sleep so hard that he couldn’t wake up), I knew we needed to do something else. So, we brought him some Valerian Root. He isn’t on any medication at all so I gave him some to help him relax. I hope he sleeps tonight. I told him I could stop by every night around 8:00 to give them to him if necessary.
The second thing I did was call my cousin. I have several in the family who are chiropractors. But she has been my dad’s chiropractor for decades. I asked her if she thought she could do him some good. She really couldn’t give him a full adjustment, but she met me at the rehab facility and was able to give him an awesome massage. He said he felt so much better when she was done. He is spending too much time laying in bed and I think he needed that to work out some of the kinks. Again, I’m pretty sure it is against the “rules”, but I really didn’t care. And she said she would come back tomorrow night if I wanted her to.
So really, I am a rebel with a cause – my dad needs to get better and we will do what we need to do. I will be stopping tomorrow so I can see the therapist to talk about keeping him out of bed more.
I’m thankful that I finally decided to act more like my mom. I talked straight to him and told him he wouldn’t ever get back home if he didn’t improve and the longer it took, the longer he would be there.
This is the first full day of work I have put in since dad first went to the hospital on September 10…and it felt soooo good. I got quite a bit done too. Always more that needs to be done though.
Then a quick trip to rehab to see my dad. Then off into town to get some files from my dad’s house for the attorney, then a sandwich from Arby’s. Now home.
I’m ready to have an evening I can sit and read. It seems like ages since I’ve done that. I’m reading The Redbreast. I’m not thrilled with it at all. I’m 1/4 of the way through the book and I cannot figure out the parallel story lines. I hate that. I’m just really struggling with following it. I’m going to tough it out a bit longer, but at some point, I will just give up. Too many good books out there to read.
Today, though, I’m really thankful I was back working all day!