Life is definitely an adventure. I live about 12 miles from my dad’s house. And my job is 17 miles in the other direction from my house. Today I started out at dad’s – drove to my office – drove back to dad’s for an appointment with the attorney – drove back to my office – drove home – drove into town for dinner – drove home – drove back to dad’s for the night. That’s an awful lot of miles without really going very far.
But the appointment with the attorney was good – we have a plan. It won’t be cheap, but it will get dad on medicaid legally and we can get him into a nursing home. He is so ready to go.
I got back to his house tonight and he hadn’t had dinner. Silly me, I thought my sister who lives two blocks away would have made sure he was fed. So at 8 o’clock tonight I was at the KFC drive thru getting him something to eat. Then all through dinner, dad and I just chatted. He really does seem so much more relaxed.
Let me give you a little history. His caregiver, Erv, is over-the-top OCD. He put dad in bed between 7:30 and 8:00 every night because it was Erv’s schedule, not dad’s. Dad has been going to bed between 10:30 and 11:00 since Erv has been gone – and he really likes that. I asked about going to a theatre production of Sound of Music in July and he said he wasn’t going because Erv wouldn’t like to go. My dad loves that kind of stuff. So, dad and I and my sister are going to go. Somehow our lives revolved around Erv’s neuroses. I was sick of it. I’m sorry he was so sick and near death, but I’m not sorry he is out of dad’s house.
We are moving dad into a nursing facility as soon as we can get in. The plan is to get a for sale by owner sign in the front yard of the house tomorrow. I think the house will sell fairly quickly. So tonight he was going room to room saying he wanted to take this or that with him. Then telling me what we should each take. But the highlight of my evening was when we were talking about pre-paying his funeral and talking about the grave marker for him and mom (we hadn’t put one up for mom yet). Do I know how to live, or what?????
Truly though the highlight of my evening was the time spent with my dad. He is a man of few words and often I would come see him and he would just sit in silence. He has been conversing lately and I have enjoyed that (of course, Erv was always listening to every conversation so we didn’t have many private conversations before).
I’m thankful for the memories and for the time with my dad. I’m not so thankful that I can’t sleep at home in my bed or that nobody else got him dinner (I guess that is something else to add to my list of things to remember to do every day).