I didn’t post an update yesterday. I just couldn’t do it. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work and dad that I’m barely functioning at all.
Yesterday was a good day at work – we were filming for our campaign video and managed to get the outdoor filming done between raindrops. No, when it rained, it was a lot more than raindrops – it was a deluge. But we still managed to stay dry.
But I had email troubles all day and nothing was coming through for my work account. It was not a good situation. But when they did come through, there was the letter from dad’s attorney on everything we need to do.
The letter was EIGHT pages long. It was detailed and quite frankly, overwhelming. It wasn’t even in lawyer-speak. There is just so much that we need to do. Dad has appointed me to handle his affairs. But then he complains about it all. I don’t make up the laws. The attorney doesn’t make up the laws. We are just trying to do what we can to stay within the law and still offer some sort of life for dad. It seems such a shame that your parents worked hard all their lives, made a good living and then a nursing home takes everything they have worked for. He wants to be able to help his grandchildren with college tuition, etc. But he can’t do that. In order for him to be on Medicaid he can only gift a TOTAL to everyone $1200 a year. Two daughters, four granddaughters, one great-grandson – you do the math – it doesn’t go very far – that is just Christmas.
I had a major meltdown yesterday. Major. I started crying and just couldn’t stop (not sure I have really stopped even yet). I don’t know how to help my dad understand that he can’t keep giving away money. He can pay the kid who does his yard work and odd jobs around the house – yet he can’t help his granddaughters. He can private home health care to come in and get him out of bed in the morning, yet he can’t do anything for his own daughters who have urinal duty and overnight babysitting duty. He can pay the nurse to bathe him, yet he can’t do anything for those of us who have to be that second person to help.
But through my meltdown, my dearest friend Ionia was there for me. She doesn’t complain (at least to me) about me whining. She makes me laugh and lets me know she loves me and cares. Everybody needs a confidante like Ionia. I will get through all of this because of her support, concern, and a listening ear.
Dad wanted to be moved by next Monday. Last night he just said, “I will never get moved at this rate”. It is heartbreaking. It is stressful. And I’m just so freaking tired.
But I’m thankful for Ionia. Thankful for her friendship. Thankful she listens. And I’m thankful the weather cooperated yesterday and appears to be cooperating today as we continue filming outdoors.