Not just a one day event, I'm blogging every day about what I'm thankful for

Storm Clouds

I didn’t post an update yesterday. I just couldn’t do it. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work and dad that I’m barely functioning at all.

Yesterday was a good day at work – we were filming for our campaign video and managed to get the outdoor filming done between raindrops. No, when it rained, it was a lot more than raindrops – it was a deluge. But we still managed to stay dry.

But I had email troubles all day and nothing was coming through for my work account. It was not a good situation. But when they did come through, there was the letter from dad’s attorney on everything we need to do.

The letter was EIGHT pages long. It was detailed and quite frankly, overwhelming. It wasn’t even in lawyer-speak. There is just so much that we need to do. Dad has appointed me to handle his affairs. But then he complains about it all. I don’t make up the laws. The attorney doesn’t make up the laws. We are just trying to do what we can to stay within the law and still offer some sort of life for dad. It seems such a shame that your parents worked hard all their lives, made a good living and then a nursing home takes everything they have worked for. He wants to be able to help his grandchildren with college tuition, etc. But he can’t do that. In order for him to be on Medicaid he can only gift a TOTAL to everyone $1200 a year. Two daughters, four granddaughters, one great-grandson – you do the math – it doesn’t go very far – that is just Christmas.

I had a major meltdown yesterday. Major. I started crying and just couldn’t stop (not sure I have really stopped even yet). I don’t know how to help my dad understand that he can’t keep giving away money. He can pay the kid who does his yard work and odd jobs around the house – yet he can’t help his granddaughters. He can private home health care to come in and get him out of bed in the morning, yet he can’t do anything for his own daughters who have urinal duty and overnight babysitting duty. He can pay the nurse to bathe him, yet he can’t do anything for those of us who have to be that second person to help.

But through my meltdown, my dearest friend Ionia was there for me. She doesn’t complain (at least to me) about me whining. She makes me laugh and lets me know she loves me and cares. Everybody needs a confidante like Ionia. I will get through all of this because of her support, concern, and a listening ear.

Dad wanted to be moved by next Monday. Last night he just said, “I will never get moved at this rate”. It is heartbreaking. It is stressful. And I’m just so freaking tired.

But I’m thankful for Ionia. Thankful for her friendship. Thankful she listens. And I’m thankful the weather cooperated yesterday and appears to be cooperating today as we continue filming outdoors.

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Comments on: "Storm Clouds" (24)

  1. Peace and Love Surround you, Uplift You, Restore you with Joy and Hope and Inspiration once again ❤

  2. tjtherien said:

    hold in there… I know how hard it can be… I was my mother’s Power of Attorney for the last three years of her life after my sister bankrupted her and put her around $20,000 in debt… when she passed there was barely enough to cremate her, couldn’t afford a proper service and had to pay for the Urn out of pocket, luckily the funeral home director gave me a real urn for the price of a cardboard urn… it is sad what people’s lives are reduced to in the end. Just hang in there… your heart is in the right place and I am sending you all the positive energy I can… don’t forget to take care of yourself also…

  3. So sorry for the difficult situation with your dad. We just went through a similar situation with my grandmother, but things did get better. Sending positive thoughts your way!

  4. You know what? I love you. No matter what you are going through or how far apart we are. You have become my rock and you get me through my worst moments. I will always try to do the same for you. I wish that I could be there with you.

  5. Sorry everything is so stressful for you at the moment, Pam. I am thinking of you and sending hugs. I know how valued you are as a friend to Ionia, and that she will always be there for you. We all will.

  6. Gosh Pam! So much going on. They tell you to give everything away three years before you need a nursing home, so I have already started. I’ll probably be in the poor house before I can think about a nursing home. Greg has a nursing home insurance policy that is supposed to guarantee him a Cadillac. I plan to keep him home with me until hospice come in if I should live so long. Hoping things ease up and glad to know you have such good support.

  7. Sending hugs and prayers your way, Pam.

  8. Sending love and good vibes, may things find a way of working in your favour!

  9. 😦 So sorry, Pam! Of course you are overwhelmed! That’s a lot to take on for one person. One day at a time. Make it through each day, pamper yourself some and let the next day begin. HUGS!

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