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Posts tagged ‘Domestic Violence’

Life is Scary

Please read and share. Reblogs are welcome to spread the word on this very important subject.

October is a scary month. There is Halloween of course. But it is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Domestic violence is a frightening thing. It seems to permeate our society. We think it is only happening to other people. Other as in “poor, other races or cultures, or lower ‘class’ people. Certainly not our middle class friends or family.


Domestic violence does not discriminate.

I was a young bride from a well known solid middle class white church going family. Then the unthinkable happened. My husband shoved me. I hit my head and it bled as head wounds bleed. What had I done? I thought it had to have been my fault. I would be a better wife. He apologized and said he would never do that again. He told me how much he loved me. I believed him.

Until it happened again. At his parents house out of state. He took my daughter after he hit me and I said I would leave him. I was distraught. I would have done anything he said to get her back. I went to his family. In case you’ve ever questioned it, blood ALWAYS wins. I thought his sister and I were best friends. They all thought I was lying and I evidently did something to provoke him. Somehow it was my fault. His dad even said “you kids work this out”.

We did. Kinda. For a short time. Until it happened again.

I gathered up my daughters things and did the only thing I knew to do. I went to see my dad. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I was admitting to failure. I was asking my dad for money to file for divorce. I refused to live like that. You see, I was strong enough to say no more. I was one of the lucky ones. I got away. It wasn’t easy.

My daughter was a victim of date abuse. As a DV victim myself I should have recognized the signs. I missed them all. She left him and he was out of her life without tragic outcomes.

I don’t know the exact statistics but I think it is something like 1 in 4 women will experience abuse. Power and control don’t always mean beating to a bloody pulp (although many times it escalates to that).

Last night I was reminded that it can happen anywhere. Andrea called me sobbing. A mother’s first response is that something is horribly wrong. Her first words were “I’m okay mom. And Soren’s okay”. Still I knew it was something horrible.

I was visiting my dad so I stepped from the room because I didn’t know what was wrong but wanted to filter it before he worried.

She told me a story of hearing her neighbors screaming and yelling at each other a lot. She said she generally couldn’t hear what they were yelling but knew if she thought he was hitting her or threatening, she would call the police. She never called because she didn’t feel it was warranted.

Then she told me she had been out of town for a couple of days and returned home after picking Soren up from school. Her neighborhood was crawling with cops. They wanted to talk to her about her neighbors. She only talked to them outside so Soren didn’t overhear. They said it was an ongoing investigation and couldn’t tell her what was going on. She called the landlord to get more information.

The man in the apartment downstairs allegedly (he’s in custody but I suppose there’s a chance he didn’t do it) beat his two year old to death. The couple’s three month old was taken into protective custody with CPS. Andrea says the mother is missing.

Part of me is glad she wasn’t home to witness this. Part of me knows she would have called police and may have saved this child’s life. I just know she is feeling guilty for not calling it in before. I told her not to feel guilty. She would have intervened if she had felt the need.

I’m glad my family is safe. But feel horrible for this family. Children should never have to worry about being safe with their parents. I hope the mom is found and is safe and I hope she wasn’t involved.

Domestic Violence is everybody’s business. It impacts us all.

Please read and share. Reblogs are welcome to spread the word on this very important subject.

The Advocate by Teresa Burrell Book Review
This book grabbed me from the very first page. As Atty. Saber Brown is appointed as the attorney for Alexis, the twists and turns don’t stop. Alexis is a precocious ten year old who has experienced more in her young years than most adults. But Sabre can smell that something just isn’t right. She continues to look for answers, even involving a detective from across the country in Atlanta, as well as her best friend and fellow attorney, Bob. There are moments in the book where my heart sped up and stopped as I was waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, I was still sure the other shoe was going to drop. Eventually it did.

I’m anxious to read more books in this series. Just as soon as my heart slows back down. I gave this book five of five stars.

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